When Straight People Attack

A few months ago I was invited to a friend's house for a mini-vacation. It was a wonderful breath of fresh air. I was introduced to a group of friends of my friend. During the conversations I typically drop some line about being gay. My friend asked me, "Why do gay people have to say they are 'gay'?" I have learned through the years that it really is a self-defence method. "To prevent misinterpretations and to ensure it is well established fact." My friend didn't quite understand but it really is about establishing that I'm not in the "straight" market or available.

A female friend of a friend was walking by and I said "hello" and pleasantly had a talk about things in general like the weather and gardening. A week or so after this conversation, my friend told me his friend thought I was flirting with her. My jaw dropped in amazement of what I was hearing. Can't a gay man be pleasant in the gay neighbourhood to a straight person without it being interpreted as flirting? I guess not. I should have some sorta sticker that says, "gay". Several straight neighbours have said they thought I was straight when they met me at first. It's a curse in disguise.

Originally I had moved to my neighbourhood thinking I was in the gay area and I should be safe. It has been anything but safe. A number of years ago a woman that does not live here started participating in the community. I'm all about gardening and this individual approached me about gardening. It was rather intense gardening stuff and interaction which was a bit "clingy" but I'm into the gardening thing so it was cool with me. All-of-a-sudden this individual turned mean, very mean. What I now realize is that this individual had "ear-marked" me as a "boy-toy". Once someone had informed this individual that I'm gay and have a boyfriend, I was not available for what they wanted and was declared "the enemy". I had no clue what was going on or why this woman became so mean so tried to avoid any contact. From this point forward I was a target. This individual did aquire another tenant for the purposes that they set-out for who was then recruited for mob bullying. I was not made aware when I moved to my current residence that I'd be subject to sexual predation. When this individual became the landlord, it became the most unpleasant intense mob bullying scene a nice gay guy should endure.

I'm not surprised the current mob bullying group are comprised of mostly straight people in a position of power. They've all been led to believe something different from the truth. I was previously made out to be someone completely different than I am. I'm a pleasant, helpful, thoughtful, respectful, honest person that has been discriminated for being gay. Considering I live in a gay neighbourhood, it isn't much of a surprise there is little to no recognition of the gay pride parade or anything gay. It's like a straight world in the middle of the gay ghetto. I respect and appreciate the straight people I have as neighbours and friends that are respectful to me.

Maybe I should just wear a rainbow feather boa to be clear from now on.

Mental Health as a Scapegoat

I am often amazed at the number of times people are declared "mentally ill" by individuals that are unqualified to make a mental health assessment. It is often used as a scapegoat to discredit individuals while empowering those that declare such an assessment. As far as I'm aware, a declaration of "mentally ill" can only be made by a psychiatrist, psychologist or designated mental health professional.

A neighbour had often proclaimed someone, "mentally ill", whenever their behaviour did not appear normal. I had reminded this individual to refrain from making such a declaration as it sets an unfounded environment of judgement, social shunning and exclusion based on false psychiatric assessment. Unfortunately, gossip and the use of power to create the image of an individual as, "mentally ill", contributes to an environment of ostracism and stigma that is irreparable and leads to increased marginalization and social exclusion.

Quite commonly, mental illness is utilized in bullying behaviours to discredit the target of bullying that is experiencing psychological trauma from the bullying. Bullying, or social terrorism, is carried out in such a manner that it creates an environment of persecution of the target through manipulation and disempowerment. This often leads to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Accute Anxiety Disorder as a result of bullying and stalking. Mob bullying starts without warning, is unstoppable once it gets going and, for the target, they don't know when it is finished as it is completely in the hands of the bullies. The reputation of the Targeted Individual is black-marked, not only within the group or immediate area, but with external organizations that may be able to assit the target. When bullying is identified, those carrying out the bullying react very much like Bart Simpson, "I didn't do it!" and a secondary bullying run occurs which may include legal and hard-core harm. What is interesting is the constant use of power to discredit, demoralize and dehumanize the Targeted Individual. It merely demonstrates a lack of humanity.

An individual disadvantaged by way of financial, health, social status, education, etc is predispositioned to bullying and the use of mental health as a scapegoat. In the area I live in, there is a high proportion of HIV positive individuals. I often am stunned with the frequency by which those that are challenged with their health are discredited by HIV negative individuals in a position of power over these individuals. It really should be the opposite and often makes me wonder why HIV positive individuals aren't working in these positions, for only these individuals really understand the daily challenges of life with this condition. Stress really can be the end of an HIV positive individual. It isn't a concern for a healthy person and nor do they care about the negative impact on an immunocompromised individual. For an HIV positive individual, mental health is very much a concern to ensure stress is kept to a minimum. Being labelled "mentally ill" just creates a preconceived label of predjudism that establishes an environment of stress and harm.

My Mental Scapegoat

Privacy Breaching

Just over a year ago I was planning a trip south so that I could avoid the painful affects of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I had spent quite a bit of time preparing my vehicle to drive into the unknown to counter the negative affects of the "dark season". As I needed to prevent any problems with my housing situation, my doctor so graciously prepared a letter of support. I dropped this off to BC Housing as the funding and rules associated with subsidized housing were established by BC Housing. I was debating how to approach my landlord and deliver the letter.

On a day I was feeling rather unwell, I decided to catch-up on my laundry. As I was doing my laundry, my landlord entered and started a discussion. At first I couldn't figure out what the landlord was talking about but I started realizing through the discussion that my landlord knew quite a bit about my planned trip. I wasn't sure if it was the gossip mill that had informed my landlord or what. My landlord stated they had received the letter from BC Housing. I was informed by the landlord that BC Housing had faxed the letter containing confidential health information to my landlord without my knowledge or approval. I hadn't been given the chance to figure out how to deal with it. I was being confronted by my landlord about a private matter in a public space and I had no way of controlling this breach or the manner it was being addressed. My landlord also stated that they had contacted my doctor to discuss the matter. I don't blame the doctor as the letter did state, "feel free to contact me." The doctor presumed I had given the letter to my landlord and that I have a normal landlord.

It became abundantly clear that BC Housing did not respect my privacy and neither did my landlord. At first I ignored this as a possible anomaly but with additional breaches of my privacy, it appears to be "the norm" with my landlord. Under PIPA (Personal Information Protection Act [SBC 2003] CHAPTER 63)
Part 9 — Care of Personal Information

Protection of personal information

34  An organization must protect personal information in its custody or under its control by making reasonable security arrangements to prevent unauthorized access, collection, use, disclosure, copying, modification or disposal or similar risks.

This particular situation was a significant breach by BC Housing and my landlord. There also seems to be multiple breaches between the landlord and "preferred tenants" as many of the "in the know" tenants seem to know far too much about vulnerable tenants than they should. The whole purpose behind PIPA is to ensure an individual has control over their personal information. Once this is breached, it is a free-for-all.

I often wonder about the emails I get from my landlord. Not at any time did I approve or were asked if I'd like to be added to the distribution list. In addition, several emails expose my email address to all of the tenants where I live. Did anyone think to check PIPA for email related issues? Nope. How do you tease an ostracized and excluded tenant from the community? Send them emails about activities that they're not allowed to participate in that you know they'd be interested in. I'm not biting. They call that "bait and hook" and it is childish.

Last year, during a bout of bullying by the mob, the landlord joined in and used BC Housing subsidy applications to bully. On the third application I asked my parents to drop off the application as I did not feel comfortable looking in the eyes of liars. Much to my amazement, the landlord pulled my parents into a meeting that I neither authorized or knew was going to happen to discuss me. The first thing my landlord said to my parents, “We know (tenant) has mental health issues and we have been very accommodating towards him.” Wow Nelly! Now there's a Human Rights violation if I've ever heard one. I am familiar with bullies discrediting the target as "mentally ill", but to the target's parents? On an unauthorized meeting? Talk about breach-o-rama! In addition to all of this, a board member of the housing complex followed my mother down the back lane a block from the complex to the car where I sat. When I pointed this out to my mother the individual scurried off like a rat.

Privacy is important to ensure fair and honest treatment and to ensure accountability. Unfortunately, when there is little regard for privacy there is no trust.

Informant Persona

The mob bullying ring is comprised of many positions, one of which is the Informant. Basically the Informant is a "fly on the wall" for the mob. The objective of the Informant is to gather as much information as possible that could be used against the Targeted Individual (TI) for the bullying mob. So conveniently, the Informant shows up during heated debate and bullying by the mob to gather information about planned defences, rebuttals and damage assessments.

An Informant acts as if they are your friend or acquaintance. What sets an Informant from a friend or acquaintance is the timing in which they show up, come around or hang-out. Often, they will know more about conflicts, occurances, etc than the average friend, which should be an indication of their direct contact with the bullying mob. An Informant usually approaches with "siding with the TI" position but is actually digging for information to feed back to the mob. They will also "magically" appear after important meetings, document mailings, incidents and intense mob bullying/stalking. An Informant will also "fish" the TI's friends & family for information under the guise of concern or friendly interest. The Informants "intelligence gathering" is rewarded by the bullying mob and ensures the Informant a safe position in the mob.

The best way to deal with an Informant is to feed false and misleading information to the Informant so that it confuses the mob. The Informant relies on the honesty of the TI for information gathering. With damage assessment inquiries from an Informant, deflating any damage and actually turning it around that the mob helped the TI is most annoying to the mob. False information fed to the Informant in the right way can also bring light to the mob bullying with authority figures.