When Straight People Attack

A few months ago I was invited to a friend's house for a mini-vacation. It was a wonderful breath of fresh air. I was introduced to a group of friends of my friend. During the conversations I typically drop some line about being gay. My friend asked me, "Why do gay people have to say they are 'gay'?" I have learned through the years that it really is a self-defence method. "To prevent misinterpretations and to ensure it is well established fact." My friend didn't quite understand but it really is about establishing that I'm not in the "straight" market or available.

A female friend of a friend was walking by and I said "hello" and pleasantly had a talk about things in general like the weather and gardening. A week or so after this conversation, my friend told me his friend thought I was flirting with her. My jaw dropped in amazement of what I was hearing. Can't a gay man be pleasant in the gay neighbourhood to a straight person without it being interpreted as flirting? I guess not. I should have some sorta sticker that says, "gay". Several straight neighbours have said they thought I was straight when they met me at first. It's a curse in disguise.

Originally I had moved to my neighbourhood thinking I was in the gay area and I should be safe. It has been anything but safe. A number of years ago a woman that does not live here started participating in the community. I'm all about gardening and this individual approached me about gardening. It was rather intense gardening stuff and interaction which was a bit "clingy" but I'm into the gardening thing so it was cool with me. All-of-a-sudden this individual turned mean, very mean. What I now realize is that this individual had "ear-marked" me as a "boy-toy". Once someone had informed this individual that I'm gay and have a boyfriend, I was not available for what they wanted and was declared "the enemy". I had no clue what was going on or why this woman became so mean so tried to avoid any contact. From this point forward I was a target. This individual did aquire another tenant for the purposes that they set-out for who was then recruited for mob bullying. I was not made aware when I moved to my current residence that I'd be subject to sexual predation. When this individual became the landlord, it became the most unpleasant intense mob bullying scene a nice gay guy should endure.

I'm not surprised the current mob bullying group are comprised of mostly straight people in a position of power. They've all been led to believe something different from the truth. I was previously made out to be someone completely different than I am. I'm a pleasant, helpful, thoughtful, respectful, honest person that has been discriminated for being gay. Considering I live in a gay neighbourhood, it isn't much of a surprise there is little to no recognition of the gay pride parade or anything gay. It's like a straight world in the middle of the gay ghetto. I respect and appreciate the straight people I have as neighbours and friends that are respectful to me.

Maybe I should just wear a rainbow feather boa to be clear from now on.

Mental Health as a Scapegoat

I am often amazed at the number of times people are declared "mentally ill" by individuals that are unqualified to make a mental health assessment. It is often used as a scapegoat to discredit individuals while empowering those that declare such an assessment. As far as I'm aware, a declaration of "mentally ill" can only be made by a psychiatrist, psychologist or designated mental health professional.

A neighbour had often proclaimed someone, "mentally ill", whenever their behaviour did not appear normal. I had reminded this individual to refrain from making such a declaration as it sets an unfounded environment of judgement, social shunning and exclusion based on false psychiatric assessment. Unfortunately, gossip and the use of power to create the image of an individual as, "mentally ill", contributes to an environment of ostracism and stigma that is irreparable and leads to increased marginalization and social exclusion.

Quite commonly, mental illness is utilized in bullying behaviours to discredit the target of bullying that is experiencing psychological trauma from the bullying. Bullying, or social terrorism, is carried out in such a manner that it creates an environment of persecution of the target through manipulation and disempowerment. This often leads to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Accute Anxiety Disorder as a result of bullying and stalking. Mob bullying starts without warning, is unstoppable once it gets going and, for the target, they don't know when it is finished as it is completely in the hands of the bullies. The reputation of the Targeted Individual is black-marked, not only within the group or immediate area, but with external organizations that may be able to assit the target. When bullying is identified, those carrying out the bullying react very much like Bart Simpson, "I didn't do it!" and a secondary bullying run occurs which may include legal and hard-core harm. What is interesting is the constant use of power to discredit, demoralize and dehumanize the Targeted Individual. It merely demonstrates a lack of humanity.

An individual disadvantaged by way of financial, health, social status, education, etc is predispositioned to bullying and the use of mental health as a scapegoat. In the area I live in, there is a high proportion of HIV positive individuals. I often am stunned with the frequency by which those that are challenged with their health are discredited by HIV negative individuals in a position of power over these individuals. It really should be the opposite and often makes me wonder why HIV positive individuals aren't working in these positions, for only these individuals really understand the daily challenges of life with this condition. Stress really can be the end of an HIV positive individual. It isn't a concern for a healthy person and nor do they care about the negative impact on an immunocompromised individual. For an HIV positive individual, mental health is very much a concern to ensure stress is kept to a minimum. Being labelled "mentally ill" just creates a preconceived label of predjudism that establishes an environment of stress and harm.

My Mental Scapegoat

Informant Persona

The mob bullying ring is comprised of many positions, one of which is the Informant. Basically the Informant is a "fly on the wall" for the mob. The objective of the Informant is to gather as much information as possible that could be used against the Targeted Individual (TI) for the bullying mob. So conveniently, the Informant shows up during heated debate and bullying by the mob to gather information about planned defences, rebuttals and damage assessments.

An Informant acts as if they are your friend or acquaintance. What sets an Informant from a friend or acquaintance is the timing in which they show up, come around or hang-out. Often, they will know more about conflicts, occurances, etc than the average friend, which should be an indication of their direct contact with the bullying mob. An Informant usually approaches with "siding with the TI" position but is actually digging for information to feed back to the mob. They will also "magically" appear after important meetings, document mailings, incidents and intense mob bullying/stalking. An Informant will also "fish" the TI's friends & family for information under the guise of concern or friendly interest. The Informants "intelligence gathering" is rewarded by the bullying mob and ensures the Informant a safe position in the mob.

The best way to deal with an Informant is to feed false and misleading information to the Informant so that it confuses the mob. The Informant relies on the honesty of the TI for information gathering. With damage assessment inquiries from an Informant, deflating any damage and actually turning it around that the mob helped the TI is most annoying to the mob. False information fed to the Informant in the right way can also bring light to the mob bullying with authority figures.

Stalker Persona

For years I have been a subject of stalking and mob bullying in Vancouver. It has been a lesson in human psychology and social humping. One of the positions in a mob bullying ring is the Stalker. By definition a Stalker is one who engages in Stalking. The act of Stalking refers to "unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group toward another person". "Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them". The stalking definition, I find, is very similar to the definition of harassment: “Engaging in a course of vexatious comment or conduct against an individual that is known or ought reasonably to be known to be unwelcome.” One could say that stalking and harassment are synonymous. I’ve noticed male and female stalking is significantly different. A male focuses on observation from a distance with patience, quite persistently so, whereas the female stalker initiates intrusive measures while attempting to remain incognito or under the guise of something else.

Stalking really comes down to predatory behaviours with the intention of “taking down” the prey by the predator(s). The example of Senior abuse by scam artists uses a very similar technique, preying on the trusting vulnerability of a senior. I’m often amused that so many people forget humans are animals, just like hyenas, baboons and lions and the human instinct and behaviours are mammalian in origin. Many references use the term, "victim", whereas I prefer the term, "target" for the intended recipient of the stalking and bullying. Targeted Individual (TI) is a term used in gang stalking and bullying. Just like a bullseye, the bullying mob goes for the target's red dot on their back/forehead/social status/etc. with the intention of removing self-sustainability (finance), social status (reputation), mobility (safety), functionality (ostracism), etc.

A few months ago I was outside in the park and noticed a problemsome neighbour lurking from across the street. It really was funny to watch the sneaky yet unsure behaviour. It reminded me of a cat, checking to see if anyone was noticing and then slowly moving forward with hesitation towards the target. I, the target, was in a different place than anticipated. A strange thing that I've noticed with stalkers is that they typically have squinty eyes when they are stalking. I knew there was something going on but not sure exactly what. Within days this stalker confronted me. Within a few weeks the City of Vancouver showed up to do an inspection and complaint letters had been sent to the landlord. Since this time, the neighbour has followed me along streets and participated in hate gossip.

A Stalker also looks for opportunity when a targeted individual is alone. Solitude is dangerous for a Targeted Individual. When the target is alone it is a chance for the stalker to bring the situation to the next level. Verbal or physical confrontation, backing the individual into a corner or confinement are the next steps in the intimidation process. The target will either "fight" or "flee". Any attempt by the target to do either will be brought forward to the authorities as "dangerous", "aggressive", "unstable", "paranoid" or "mentally ill", with the stalker denying any involvement in stalking or confrontation. In mob bullying, additional stalkers join the participation in stalking to further intimidate the target based on the description by the primary stalker of the "incident". The target is made out to be "playing the victim" and described as the perpetrator.

Signs you are being stalked:

• repeated walk/drive-bys by the same individual(s)/vehicle
• lurking behaviour which may include visual determination if you are alone, and once determined that you are not, the individual leaves
• requests for odd information that is not the business of those who ask
• multiple complaints to authorities that may be half-true or completely false
• expressing concern to an authority figure may intensify stalking
• excessive criticism
• increased interest and observation of what you are doing by an individual or several individuals
• being repeatedly photographed via cell phones or cameras
• an aquaintance becoming particularly friendly, later to want nothing to do with you once they have their information
• friends or family are asked questions about you by an aquaintance(s)
• perpetual existance of an individual between an area the targeted individual requires ie bathroom, laundry room, grocery store, etc.
• following an "incident", enquiries/discussion as to the results or "damage" are made of you
• particular interest by individuals of your intended "escape plan" with added suggestions
• requests for dealing with stalking to authority figures is met with a pre-conceived notion of who or what you are like. This particularly includes political or/and power figures.
• damage or vandalism to home/office/work/vehicle
• an individual from work/home/etc showing up at non-related venues
• a previous problemsome co-worker shows up at your new employer. This is particularly difficult to deal with in retail or service jobs

This list is quite extensive and certainly does not cover all of the possible signs you may be stalked. Dealing with stalking includes reducing availability to stalkers, randomly changing routines, walking with someone, making others aware of what is going on. Stating clearly to the individual, "You are stalking me!" or try something overly nice like, "Hi Sharon, nice weather we're having!" or "Nice to see you John!", within the ear-shot of others. Acting as if you are photographing them when they are photographing you. Mob bullying makes it particularly difficult to count on authority figures as they work as a group to discredit the target. This also makes going to the police particularly difficult and probably not the best choice.